Sunday, 28 May 2017

A New Chapter of The Random Life of Aveen

Hesitation and uncertainty plague my mind, as I begin to slowly type my thoughts once more on the keyboard. The Blogger symbol lingers in the corner of my eye as I stare wistfully at the blank title space. 

For a girl who used to blog every consecutive week without fail, planned blog posts up to a month in advance, this feels like home. Viewing my blog design which I created when I was seventeen. I recall being so proud of the design which I created by pouring hours of endless free time into a design app. Gazing at the design now, I can't help but feel like it was created by a different person.

Perhaps, I have been so focused on blogging in the way I used to. So determined to go back to 'the way things were, the way my blog was initially.' It has taken me two years to realise that I am not the same person I was when I first started this blog. When I first began writing under The Random Life of Aveen, I was sixteen years of age, bored and unsure of where life was leading me to. I had surplus and never-ending amounts of time to wonder and consider so many aspects of life. I was naive enough to type all my thoughts for the world to see.

Fast forward to 2016, and everything is irrevocably different. A sixteen year old girl grew into a near 21 year old; a second year finished in college, pursuing the course I dreamt of since childhood. In ways such as this, the dreams and hopes of The Random Life of Aveen are very much completed. Endless blog posts from 2013-2015 detail my determination to get to where I am now.

And now, I actually am where I want to be. I tried getting back into blogging this time last year yet I was stuck at a series of crossroads. With so many decisions to take, based on quite awful events that happened to me in the space of a few weeks.

This time last year, I had finished my first year in college, unsure of who my friends were there, betrayed by people who I thought were kind. I also became quite sick both during my exams and after my exams. I was in so much shock I never discussed this illness on my blog. Even now, the trip to A&E and endless appointments for dressings seem like a vague blur. Yet the biggest blow was the death of my Nana, my last living grandparent, who passed away at the same time I became ill.

I persevered through the summer of 2016, trying to meet up with my friends and worked my summer job. I was going through the motions, but my head and soul wasn't really there. It was spinning and reeling from those consecutive events which hurt me physically and emotionally.

Returning to college in September, I was unsure of most things in my life. However, I was lucky enough to meet a lovely bunch of girls who let me into their social group and I became one of them. My second year in college was undoubtedly much better than my first. I knew who would be my friend - and those who wouldn't. I regained the confidence I had lost.

To have genuine reasons for smiling - for the first time in months, was utterly spectacular. There were bumps in the road but I managed to get through them. The year was a blur, a myriad and collection of fun, happiness, comfort and excitement.

This all brings me to now, the present day. The end of May 2017. I'm free for the summer to enjoy my time off college. I'm back to my summer job and I can't help but feel relieved that this summer is shaping up to be far better than the last.

With events such as finally applying for my provisional driving licence, (something which I had to delay due to illness last year), going to gigs and concerts such as Keith Barry, Green Day, Indiependence and family events - I can't help but feel excitement, joy and optimism for the upcoming months.

My mind is nearing peace, with concrete plans and no limits. I'm excited and looking forward to the summer months ahead of me, which I hope to write about on the Random Life of Aveen.

Life changes and I must readily accept that this blog changes as my life does too.

With love,

Wednesday, 8 February 2017

New Semester and RAG week

A new semester in college brings with it new chances and opportunities for spontaneity, giddiness, friendship and laughter. I say it's a new semester but it's the start of Week Three already so my time to call it a new semester is waning rapidly. No time like the present as they say.

What have I been up to since returning to college after Christmas? Well I had a good catch up with the girls in the apartment, attended all lectures and tutorials, did all coursework relevant each week and I suppose I possibly, probably, maybe went out a couple of nights each week. Let's just say my Snapchat story on Monday and Thursday nights can be questionable, weird and possibly funny. (Add awkwardaveen if you think you can handle the weirdness).

Between predrinks, booking taxis, dancing in the nightclubs and craving Supermacs afterwards, I've had brilliant nights out in Limerick this semester and with RAG week, I can assume it'll continue this way. For now, here's some photos from my nights out. These are the ones that were saved to my Snapchat, who only knows what the unsaved photographs were like!

A selection of photos are taken straight from my Instagram or from my Snapchat story as well as some 'never seen' photos.

It's quite early in the semester so I imagine that in a couple of weeks, there will be less nights out and more of a start on completing assignments. Myself and the girls are making the most of the precious spare time we currently have until this happens.

When is your college's RAG week? Have they any exciting line ups announced? Tweet me or send a snap! 

Aveen x

Sunday, 15 January 2017

A Clean Slate

It was hesitation, a deep breath that I decided to return to blogging. Perhaps a yearning for the connection of my mind to the keyboard once more. This is the first tentative step I will take to attempt to return to a hobby which I thoroughly enjoyed and savoured for many years.
 It is with a small but genuine smile that I whisper, 'Welcome back to The Random Life of Aveen'.

It has been 'random' to say the least. 2016 was quite a difficult year for me in my private life. I discussed some elements of this last year in some of the blog posts I managed with great difficulty to write.

I've tentatively decided to return to blogging. It's connected to one of my true passions, writing. I wasn't actually able to write for many months, particularly in the summer. I felt that whenever I did write something, it wasn't of a high enough standard for myself, or it was either too personal or informative on things I wanted to initially keep private. When I returned to college for Second Year, I did write some pieces of poetry and a few diary entries for my own thoughts. I might post some of the poems I wrote (mainly on the bus from Wexford to Limerick) in the months to come.

For now however, my main objective is to get back into the swing of writing regular blog posts. This blog was initially written as a way to explore and express my personality, to make sense of my thoughts by writing them down. In essence, it was a safe haven of discovery, creativity and occasional humour.

I'd like this blog to retain it's original purpose. A place for me to document and discover more about my life and the trappings of real life and living. I cannot deny that 2016 was a tough year, but 2017 in my opinion is a new start, a clean slate, of creativity, positivity and developing self-confidence that I lost in 2016.

 I'm determined to slowly deconstruct the walls I built around myself last year when people who I foolishly trusted, betrayed any sense of honour or personal integrity they possessed. I closed myself off from the world for many months due to illness which has thankfully passed. I want to become the more open person I was. Instead of being overly protective and wary of any negativity or comments. I am filled with a fire in my soul that was non-existent for many months until recently.

With the return of this fire in my soul, comes the return of the writing process. The desire, the need to write follows the spiritual fire of development and self confidence.

This will be a slow process but I need and desire writing about my feelings. I've felt that without writing in my life, it has been a dull time indeed.

Here's to a clean slate of writing my feelings, regardless of the dirty looks on sets of stairs or upturned noses in the corridors. The Random Life of Aveen and Awkward Aveen are back and more determined than ever to be a better person, filled with happiness and tranquility in my soul.

Until the next blog post, 
Aveen x